Brie Meegan and the Joy Thief.

 Before I left someone said that sooner or later I will see something that will take away my joy, and they hoped it would be in Africa. They said they wanted this to happen for two reasons, maybe I'll “grow up” and also maybe it would end my dream of Africa.

This summer so far I've met kids who seen people tortured to death, who have been rejected by their families, who have been abused, who survived only because of they worked to find food. All before the age of 12. I have gone to the hospital to see, and pray for the woman who got a shot to abort her baby. She bled for over a week and almost died because of it. I hear several times a day the worship of a local cult crying out to their god. I walk past a pagan shrine every time we go to the field to play soccer.

If something exists that could take my joy away I feel like I heard about it, prayed for the person, and often met the person. And still I continue to learn more.

And yes it breaks my heart beyond belief. And it steals my happiness. But never does it touch my joy.

My happiness is found in a child's smile or laugh, having clean clothes, waking up and finding that Terry did not wet the bed, having African clothes made. It is stolen by a child's cry, realizing I have to wash clothes, Terry wetting the bed again, waiting another day for my clothes, and finding out we are having yam and beans for dinner again...

My happiness is found through earthly things. It can be a roller coaster, with highs and lows. But my joy? My joy has nothing to do with this world. It is not found in any human being, or thing, or even being in Africa. If my joy was found in earthly things it would have been ripped from me long ago.

My joy is found solely in the Lord. He is what fuels me. He keeps me breathing in and out. Without him I doubt I could move due to the depression this world would cause. It would be more than crippling. But guess what? “Do not be grieved for the joy to the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10. If that joy is my source of strength how could I not be full of joy? How could I not jump at the chance to follow Him, to Arlington or to Africa? How could I contain myself if He is my joy and my strength? Tell me how your still sitting there and trying to find joy in the world? Please. It's fleeting. It fills you with false hope and then crushes you.

I thank God that no matter what happens, no matter what I see, no matter how much death I face head on. Yes I may be heart broken, in fact I pray for a broken heart for what breaks His heart. It keeps my humble, it keeps me close to him. Psalm 34:18 “ The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

I hope and pray you find your joy in the Creator and the Savior, and not in this world.